$20 to Slap My Face

Image by The Adventures of Kristin & Adam via Flickr

I’m here, I know it’s been a while, but Frank brought me back.  I received a great comment from what I would consider a scripture sleuth on a previous post about Mary, Mother of God.

In it, Frank http://francisdrakeprivateer.wordpress.com/ said:

“Interesting thoughts.
I wonder where she first responded to the whisper of the spirit.

I ask this because a thought occured to me the other day about those who the Lord says he called from the womb.
John the baptist responded to the presence of Jesus in Mary’s womb whilst in the womb of Elizabeth.
Jeremiah also, -Jer1v5 [....]

 It says to me that there are some whose first freewill response to the Lord is in the womb. This is long long before any possible intellectual understanding of what we call the gospel.

I wonder where Mary first said yes to the Lord”

~~~~~~                                               ~~~~~~~

So this got me to wondering about free will.  Calling. Responding to the Spirit. Scripture. And how that all applies to Grace.

I remember sitting in a church pew as a teenager.  I remember actually liking to go, and forcing my parents to go.  I had always been a little… well, you know.  churchy. Despite never having gone to sunday school. Or church for that matter, it was my voice as a teenager that brought us there.

A sunny, warm midsummers Minnesota day… and I was bored out of my mind!  The sermon…. was…. so… loooong!!!  THAT was the first time I remember really ‘feeling’ it.  That nudge. The Holy Spirit, talking and you think your imagining things, but yes, it was there…. I felt in my heart as plain as day… as real as can be, Him saying…

that will be you someday

 

Seriously.  Really???

Well, I wasn’t going to become a Pastor.  And I didn’t.  But it makes me wonder how many ‘calls’ we miss.  It makes me think that Grace is more than we bargain for, as God continues to work with us…. and by us, I mean me.

Sure I can rattle off to you countless times in my life I followed His call, Helped His purpose… shared my Faith.  But I can’t help thinking.  Which ones did I ignore?  Whose life did it affect?

I chuckle to think had I become a Pastor… the world is quite possibly better off.  But how about the little things?  Is it possible to change the world in one decision?  Another clue~ I just watched ‘Pay it Forward‘ again!

These aren’t thoughts about getting to heaven or finding a closer relationship with God…. I am talking about the HERE and NOW. If I had given that man collecting cans on the side of the street the $20 bill I had in my purse a few years back, would that have changed the world?  Because I didn’t, but the Spirit told me to.  I don’t know what I spent it on.  I kinda wish I did remember. 

I just spoke to a friend about giving, and about how giving is more about the giver than the receiver.  It isn’t about what he would have done with the $20…  What did that money do to me… Spiritually…. and how has that affected my world?

Simple Disclosure

Image by Klearchos Kapoutsis via Flickr

SO what happened?

You called me here

I came

Emptiness I find

Where did YOU go?

            ~

Just,

What do you want?

Are you listening,

watching,

paying attention?

Am I hearing you right?

Is my heart fading,

Falling away?

            ~

Seperate my black from white

Disclose this veil and show your Grace

Breath in me

This life you give

Simply unveil Your call

             ~

Left hanging

In the Holy of Holies

In so many ways

I’m left to imagine Your Will

I gotta tell you

Nothing I can imagine

Would be so great

Without you

            ~

Come to me

Come to me now

Here I am ready

Waiting

Wondering

Which way to go.

The Mary Beyond, Human, But More

Image via Wikipedia

     I sat on a balcony, watching below, 50 preschool girls play gymnastics for an hour.  How many times I had done this… sitting by myself, week after week. One day I sat with two other young mothers.

     How the topic came to be, I can’t recall, but one of them said, “I think Mary was a normal woman.. chosen by God.”

     Now I am protestant, and proudly profess so, but this was not right.  I prefer not tell people what they should believe, and at that time, I wasn’t so sure what I, myself, really believed.  So no one was more suprised by my response as I was.

     I quickly jumped in and said, quite forcefully, “I like to think that Mary was special.  Chosen because of her faith.  I can honestly say if God showed up in my belly at the same time as an angelic being told me all about it, I could not, would not, respond in the servant way that she did.”

     Of course after the awkward silence, the topic quickly changed!

     Mary, however has stayed on my mind ever since. In the honesty of my response, I had convicted myself of my lack of faith…   or should we call it this worl’s tempered response…. Who wouldn’t check with a phsychiatrist?

      I’ve come to know Grace a little differently since then. One, I’d like to think I could have come up with a more graceful defense of the mother of my King.  Perhaps I was supposed to speak up forcefully.  When it comes to the spirit, I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to let the Spirit be the Spirit. 

     I wonder, then, if that was what Mary did.

     How could a young teenager contain so much Grace?? Yes, indeed, I do think there was something special about her.  Sure it [the Bible] says, she had great faith. I’m willing to bet she carried qualities like integrity, servanthood, humility and reverance. A teenager….

     My then, preschool daughter, now preteen princess is the apple of my eye, but, I look at her and think, what would SHE do?  I see in our world a billion lights of Hope driven by Christ, but I see that we all ride a roller coaster of indignant faith, riding the tracks of highs and lows.  We can no more guess as to the character of Mary than she could have guessed the millions who would pray to her and the others that would revere her for the role she played in delivering our God. 

 The difference, I think, is that she probably never gave it a second thought.

Image by swisscan via Flickr

like the whitecap

that rides

an ocean wave

~

a whisper

that graces

like a displaced brush

of air

~

a smile within you

powers

my soul

~

joy

I feel when it makes its

way home

on my heart

as a cappacino foam

~

keep smiling at me

and it will return

happiness breeds

as any mustard seed

~

despair

I feel

will not overcome

a Love’s response

~

my soul crying

needing what only one can give

can be found in you

one gesture

one moment

a glimpse really

eyes meet

and

your

authentic

smile

changes my day

shows

 me the One in you

~

so put on your

red clown nose

find the humor

long, lost,

gone

smile at me

please pick me!

I’m everywhere

and waiting