Life Investments, Beauty and Middle Age

“There comes a time when a woman needs to stop thinking about her looks and focus her energies on raising her children. This time comes at the moment of conception. A child needs a role model, not a supermodel.” ~Astrid Alauda

I don’t know if my Facebook friend was expecting a debate to emerge from a seemingly beautiful, heartfelt quote. The give and take rivaled right out of the gate, right at the strike of her ’enter’ button. The question became not about a woman’s committment to raising her children, but at the sentiment of whether we can still adequately care for ourselves as independent people, aside from our role as parents.

I am a woman with the up and down self-esteem of a teenage girl. I see the value of tending to our looks to boost how WE ‘perceive’ others are looking AT us… what THEY see… how I feel when I look in the mirror…

That in mind, nothing in life has boosted my self-esteem more than having two great kids that lovingly call me ‘Mommy’. The day I became the adult in a relationship (the pregnancy of my first-born) was the day I became more beautiful from the inside, and I haven’t stopped blossoming since.

*sigh*

I am, however, approaching the ripe middle age of 40 and blushingly admit that my self-esteem has taken another tumble in the adolescent ‘dumps’. I always wanted more children, I wanted to be further in my career, I want more money, I wanted to look and feel better than I do at this age. I wanted to be a more exciting person than a super nice, working class, suburban Mom.  Isn’t this something we are supposed to go through? 

I am not going to waste time wondering whether I’m normal or not. I am enjoying the extra self-care that these ‘middle age crisis’ feelings are driving me to do… makeovers, bubble baths, ditching the minivan and seducing my husband. I was guilty of losing myself in the love of my family, of that I have no regrets… I am guilty, as well, to taking a cannonball plunge into the pool of ‘self’. I will not regret that either.

If you are driving around town and see a middle-aged woman playing in the midst of the kids at the playground… don’t mind me… I’m just working on an ‘inner makeover’. There is a time to give beyond ourselves as parents. There is also a time, that being a role model means giving in to one’s self the idea that we can, indeed, reinvest continually throughout life. Kids, teenagers. adults, seniors… life is always as we perceive it. I am thinking it is important to keep several different lenses around in which to look through.

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